Would it make you feel better to know that few men actually know what will work with any particular woman? Not knowing how to pick up a woman isn’t a big deal as suggested in the Eharmony review here. It is just a matter of developing a few strategies, practicing a bit, and accepting that each woman is likely to react differently.
- Figure out if the interest is mutual. If you are in a social setting where a woman is standing with a few girlfriends chatting but she keeps glancing over at you smiling, she is either interested or your fly is down. Check your fly surreptitiously, and then go over to talk to her. She isn’t likely to come over to you, so go ahead and make the first move.
- What if she is alone? If a woman is standing alone in a social setting, it means one of a few things. She is waiting for someone, like her boyfriend, or she is secure enough to turn up by herself. The first will be easy to assess because she will be looking at the door repeatedly. If she is looking around the room and seems relaxed, walk over and say hello. The worst that happens is that she tells you she is waiting for someone, and you move on. No foul.
- Be casual. You probably don’t want to start a conversation by discussing the political situation in the Middle East. “Hey,” “How’s it going?” or any other casual phrase is enough to break the ice. If she barely acknowledges you, she probably isn’t interested. Just move on. If she focuses on you and gives you a smile and responds, this is your chance to introduce yourself.
- Be prepared to talk a bit. If you got past the initial ice-breaking and you are moving into a conversation, make sure you have something to talk about. You can talk about the gathering, discuss the latest movies, or ask about her favorite movie. Just keep the conversation moving. Don’t overshare, but don’t be evasive either. You can tell her that you don’t enjoy your job but it pays the bills; however, don’t explain the dynamics of your office politics.
- Avoid commenting on physical features exclusively. Believe me when I tell you that a beautiful woman is aware of her appeal. She has heard it from every man so far. Be different. Once you start talking, you can observe how smart she is or how compassionate she is for volunteering at the animal shelter or whatever else is appropriate.
- Make the connection. At this point, if things have gone well and you have talked for a while, ask for a phone number or e-mail as the evening is breaking up. If you did a good job you will get one or the other. If not, and she is hesitant, that’s okay. You’ve enjoyed her company and can always try again the next time you are out.
Now that you know how to pick up a woman, get out there and see what happens. A positive attitude, a willingness to keep trying, and a little finesse are all you need.